She was in a dilemma: She wanted to feel good in her clothes, yet she wasn't buying clothes that made her feel good.
You see, she was waiting until she lost weight until she bought the outfit she really wanted to wear. She wouldn't let herself shop because it would force her to buy "that size." Maybe she didn't want to confront her current size. Maybe shopping wasn't as fun as it once was. Maybe she believed the lie that if she bought that size, she would somehow be stuck there forever. Whatever the reason, it was all the same: She was withholding current joy for future hope.
By waiting until she reached a certain weight, she was postponing her happiness, in terms of her wardrobe at least. So, here she is, wearing clothes every day that don't make her feel good. Yet, she longs to lose weight to feel good in her clothes.
The paradox about this is that if she continues to punish herself for her current weight by not allowing herself to wear something she enjoys, what is the likelihood that she will reach her goal at all? How often do we reach a goal by punishing ourselves to get there?
The best way to get that body you enjoy is to love yourself on the way there. And that means starting now - just as you are. Then, health goals come from a point of self-care, not punishment. There's been a few times I've exercised in my past as a way to punish myself for eating something. That's not the same mentality that made me cross the finish line of a marathon.
To do all the running that was required for a marathon, I was doing it for every reason included under the umbrella of self-love: stress relief, endorphins, moving my body because it felt good, seeing friends, getting fresh air, having more energy, achieving a goal. Not an ounce of punishment. Some people joke that running would be a form of punishment, but not for me. It was like earning a degree: hard, tedious, and lots of time...all worth it at the end. Having a medal placed around your neck felt like having a diploma placed in your hand. And we don't endure years of college and mountains of debt because we hate ourselves.
I encouraged her to go buy the clothes. Her homework wasn't to work harder to lose weight. It wasn't to eat less, exercise more, or to focus on her goal. It was to love herself enough to buy something that made her feel good. Because when she puts on clothes that make her feel good, and she can stand up taller and smile a little brighter, she will have reached her goal without losing a single pound.
If you are ready to stop punishing yourself, and if this is an approach that appeals to you, read here for more information. I help coach women just like you and just like her toward your goals while loving and enjoying yourself on the way there.
I needed this today. I’ve put on 40 pounds in the last 2 years, have clothes I don’t love how I look in and a self-imposed one year buying fast as a kind of motivation to loose the weight. It hasn’t worked with consistent exercise and eating well and my clothes are starting to get holes and I’m running out of options. Thanks for this encouragement. Time to go break that fast!
Karissa,
Thank you so much for your comment. I hear your struggle, and I also hear how you are treating yourself right through what you can control. We can’t always control the outcome of our body shape, but we can change how we treat it – internally and externally. Sounds like a shopping spree is in your near future, and I would love to see what you get! 🙂
P.S. I work with many ladies just like you. If you feel like you want some support in your journey, let me know. <3